This was written over a year ago (by your’s truly) and never published. Nothing has changed since, so I am going to make it public.
While I single out Cox, as they are my current television and internet provider, this message goes out equally to any, and all, television providers.
Hey Cox… you have 6 months to provide me with a new DVR box, or I build my own media center PC, and strip you down to a simple CableCard provider. (shopping for one now)
That’s right, no more $18.50 a month fee for your horrible ‘Digital Cable DVR’ box that was provided to me in the year 2005. You, Cox, in all your pun-filled-name glory, need to wake up, smell the coffee, and pound it like an ‘Irish Car Bomb’ that is about to curdle. Your shit is old, and it’s beyond obsolete. Yes, you “redesigned” your interface this past spring, but it still displays in 4:3 ratio SD quality, and looks like it was designed in the early 90’s! (Even if it had been something nice to look at, it’s still lipstick on a pig) And don’t think this means you have me as a CableCard subscriber for very long either. As soon as Google, Apple, or someone else breaks the ankles of the television networks, and provides what I describe below, you’re getting stripped down to nothing more than a bandwidth provider.
FitBit thought they were being clever by designing their glorified pedometer as an actual clip (and brilliantly so), but apparently some company salesman, or retail customer, thought it still needed a clip attachment…
Soakin’ in a Tub o’ Vodka
After seeing this post on Gizmodo, about getting drunk off gummy bears, I had to give it a try myself! Being both, a gummy candy connoisseur, and an avid drinker, this was right up my alley. In fact, I frequently consume the two together already; albeit separate. Until now!
Reading the article on Friday night, I promptly checked my gummy candy supply. I wasn’t able to find official gummy “bears”, but I did have some gummy Lifesavers, and the classic “Swedish Fish”. I dumped a hand-full of each in a small bowl. For the gummy Lifesavers, I stuck to the plan, and filled the bowl with Svedka vodka. However, I pulled an audible on the Swedish Fish. Swedish Fish have become one of my favorite accompaniments for whiskey, so I filled their bowl with Jameson Irish whiskey! (Side note: “Sour Patch Kids” are also an excellent side dish for whiskey, creating a nice whiskey sour effect!) Both bowls were covered with some static-cling plastic wrap, and put in the fridge.
South Park WoW Gamer
Why has the term “gamer” been turned into such a strong (sometimes negative) label? It has taken on a life beyond that of “movie-viewer”, “music-listener”, or “book-reader”, yet I see them on the same level. A movie-viewer is one who experiences movies. A music-listener is one who experiences music. A “book-reader” is one who experiences books. And so a gamer is one who experiences games. Yet, the label “gamer” has become a negative connotation, while the others lead more admirable lives.
Image courtesy of sportretort.wordpress.com
UPDATE: In a superstitious attempt at saving this 0-4 season, I have removed the jinxing purple accent color.
Original post from Sept. 10th: Now that the billionaires are done arguing with the millionaires over a nickel, it’s time to get back to football! And so, in honor of the start of the NFL football season, I have changed the accent color from ‘Grey’ to ‘Purple’. Why? Because not only do I have Viking blood in me (partial Norwegian heritage), but I am a born and bred Minnesota Vikings fan! I am generally a level-headed football fan, but if you are a cheesehead, LEAVE NOW before thinks get ugly!