This year, I bought the newest installment in EA Sports’ monopolistic NFL football franchise, for the first time in nearly 8 years. Why did I do this, after such an extended avoidance? Well, a few things… First, a few amigos pondered jumping into the virtual football stadium this year. It would be a new place for us to banter; outside of the yearly military shooters. But there was also the threat of “no football” this year. The thought of it (even today) instills violent bodily convulsions! I began to contemplate how I would fill my set aside weekly football time… More video games? No, I already play anything that interests me… Competitive Lego’ing? Sounds fun, but I hear the Dutch have a Mafia that controls the Lego universe… Become a runner? Not until the zombie apocalypse!
Well thank goodness, EA put their monopoly to use, and decided (before an NFLPA agreement was made) to release ‘Madden NFL 12’; whether there were games played or not. I began to envision Madden as REAL football. Not just a virtual representation of the sport, but this year’s real NFL football season. These “real” NFL games would be played by myself, and a choice selection of fellow Madden players. Our games would be given Vegas odds… People would create fantasy teams based on our “real” teams… It would be great! Who needs those “real” people to play for us?!
All I can say after that, is it’s a good thing that the players and owners came to an agreement! That could have turned into a bad mental break situation… One only rivaled by ‘Deer Hunter’ or ‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’!
NFL football was back on, and Madden was once again based on reality. And like I said, using the ever so useful Amazon Prime “Free Release Date Delivery”, I ordered ‘Madden NFL 12’. My mental health was saved! Yah! Everything was just peachy, right?! Not exactly. It’s quite obvious, that after supplying the NFL with an insane amount of cash and sexual favors, they took an extended post-coitus nap.